This weekend Rita got the news we have been praying for. The cancer and pre-cancer cells have been removed. It is out of her body! Now Rita can begin to focus on healing and prevention. Before that can happen there is another mammogram that needs to be scheduled. The doctors want to make sure that the cancer is gone and hasn’t resurfaced. I want 100% assurance. In the world of cancer this is not possible.
We are going to have to learn to live with a certain amount of uncertainty. Every treatment comes with a degree of risk. The risk can reduce the possibility of cancer coming back, but it can’t eliminate it.
In the middle of all this life still goes on. The sun still rises, every day. Bills still show up; interestingly they show up with certainty and on time.
There is this human need to know, to be secure. Yet Jesus suggested that this impulse isn’t terribly helpful. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…” (Matthew 6:25). The truth is that none of us are promised anything beyond right now. I always knew this intellectually. Giving witness to my wife of almost 30 years as she deals with this disease has been a powerful reminder about today.
We could choose to worry about what might happen or we can choose to live our lives, to be alive in the moment. I cannot and will not speak for Rita, but the invasion of cancer into our marriage has made me more grateful for what we have today. I am hopeful for tomorrow and the next 30 years. But I refuse to live in the world of what might happen. Quite honestly, even with the cancer, what we have is pretty cool.
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself…” (Matthew 6:34)