Cancer

This is not a topic I ever planned to blog about. Sometimes things happen that we do not plan for. Late last year my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Getting that phone call was not fun. To be honest I just didn’t expect it. Yes, they had called Rita back for further tests because something unexpected was spotted, but I just assumed the medical staff was being extra careful. They were being extra careful. I just didn’t expect the call. No, I expected a call, I just thought the news would be different. The news wasn’t different. There is no way to prepare yourself to hear that your wife has cancer. It simply sucks. In the weeks since we have heard a whole lot of positive news. It was caught early. The mass is small. There is no reason to believe that she won’t be cancer free by summer. But this isn’t what I hear. All I know is that my wife has cancer. And cancer is not a good thing.

There have also been some amazing points of light. Hearing the stories of cancer survivors has been a source of hope. Our church family that has surrounded us with prayer and love. My coworkers have consistently asked how we are doing while giving me space to be less than my best. Family members have reached out in all kinds of unique ways. Both of our boys have become “pastoral.” Our neighbors have cared for us in ways that say we are more than people who live next door to each other.

In a strange way my faith is growing and changing. I am furious with God for allowing this to happen. At the same time God is there in ways I have never experienced before. I am not a fan of the various ways that Romans 8:28 is sometimes used and abused, but I find myself clinging to these words: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

At December’s DOOR National board meeting I quoted Tim McGraw’s song:

Let’s take a moment and celebrate our age

The ending of an era and the turning of a page

Now it’s time to focus on were we go from here

Lord have mercy on our next 30 years

My prayer is simple; I want another 30 years with my wife.